This is a testimony of singing in a class at our ministry school! The name of the class is Inspired Speech, the school is called World Revival School of Ministry. The teacher is Heather Eschenbaum, the assignment: Sing what God is telling you.
I am like most people who struggle to sing in front of people! I can sing with a voice like an angel and used to take singing lessons as an adult, but to sing in front of others, fear has removed my ability to sing for years! This is why I am taking this class!
My struggle to sing in front of others has been so crippling that for 1 and 1/2 years while leading worship at a church, the minute it was my turn to sing, I would loose my ability to speak! I could sing great, if I was singing a harmony, but the minute I had to lead....I had no voice! Literally nothing came out! I went through this until one day it broke! The bands that had been so tightly wrapped around my neck were gone! Now after being here for a little over 2 years and by not having to overcome this obstacle weekly by standing in front of others, I feel like I am being pushed backwards again!
Before coming here I used to tell Rob, “I know I am supposed to preach, pray, sing and prophesy! He would say, “what are you talking about, no one does that!” That is what I did everyday in the safety net of my home! No one but God and my kids knew what went on! The first time we came here Pastor Kathy sang over me and my family, when we got back to our hotel, I said to my husband, " I told you that was what I am suppose to do! It is being done here, what I am suppose to do! I do hear from God, I know His voice and so do these people!” For the first time he said, “ o.k. I guess you might be right.”
Everyone started praying and Heather said, "go deeper," I resisted at first, not really understanding but then when I did go deeper, I went instantly to a place of peace! A place where I could hear, a place of longing to just sit and listen! I truly don’t want to sing or speak, I just want to listen! I long to sit on the back row and never be seen or heard! I want to hide so far from people, no one would ever know I have existed! But that does not seem to be in the plans, as I listened I could hear him say, "sing of the sound of heaven." I instantly said, “ surely you jest! Can’t I just sing of how great you are? You know, the scripture on the board?" Heather had written a scripture on the board as a guide post to go by. It did not refer to the sound of heaven. No, “sing of the sound of heaven!”
So as I continued to try to hear something else, the person two people away from me sang. As he was singing you could hear that he was singing to God, the longings of his heart! He wanted to hear the sound of heaven! I broke, my selfish heart had been revealed again. I said, o.k. Lord I will do what you say, forgive me for it always being about me!
As I began to sing I felt the lack of breath and the choking sensation on my throat, but I did the best that I could, I have heard the sound of heaven, it is loud, there is crashing, (loud crashing) like two cars colliding, like thousands of instruments playing faster than what you think is physically possible! Deep sounds and high pitched sounds, harmonies, many harmonies, it is the sound of heaven’s armies warring as we intercede!
I never felt real freedom, but I felt confident that I did what I was supposed to do. I handed the baton to the next person! Singing is right, thank-you Heather Eschenbaum, Pastor Kathy and Pastor Steve Gray of World Revival Church! May you all be eternally blessed for caring enough to listen and obey!
I pray you will be encouraged that when something bigger than us apposes us, we should fight back through our attitudes, word of God, prayer and putting action in the direction that opposes the opposition! We can be ALL we were designed to be for His name sake! The bible say's God takes pleasure in the prosperity of the saints!
Let those who favor my righteous cause and have pleasure in my uprightness shout for joy and be glad and say continually, Let the Lord be magnified, Who takes pleasure in the prosperity of His servant.
Why Revival? I would not sing without it!
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