Diary of Revival: Entry Two

Inspired Speech

Michelle Mangold

August 7, 2012

                                                  What God Says About Me

This exercise for me was the easiest of assignments that we have done, so far. At first, I thought, oh no here I go again crying in front of everyone. But then for some reason, I thought, hmm.......I can speak truth and I love truth. The truth excites me....after the first initial moments...I felt a release to proclaim who I was. I started out by saying I am fearless!!!! That was the only thing that came to my mind....I am fearless.....I am fearless.....I am fearless!

The number 1 thing I have learned in this class is, no one has ever stopped me from anything. No false accusation. and all the religious systems in the world cannot stop God and his will for our lives. Only we can agree with the forces of darkness or we can agree with the voice of God. I realized a few weeks ago that only one thing has stopped me from moving forward in the things of God. That one little thing which I allowed to cripple me in mind, body and soul has been fear.

Everything I have ever wanted to do and didn’t, has been due to fear. I have gone places most people won’t, but then just before crossing the finish line, I would retreat and walk away without the victory. The voices and the adversity became so big I did not think I could do it. I am crossing those lines now and although adversity is coming, this time I will cross the finish line in every area in my life so that I can help others cross the finish line as well.

3 years ago I had, what I thought, was the last breath that I would breath. As I fell off a horse that I had been training I prayed that I would not break my back. When I hit the ground I was afraid to move, then the horse came running right at me...I had, had a series of events like this and I could not shake what was hanging over my head. I rolled over crawled out of the arena and was taken to emergency. 

While laying on the bed in the e.r. I rehearsed in my head everyone I knew who is now crippled due to a horse injury. I apologized to my kids for riding horses and after a 3 month recovery, that was one of the hardest recoveries I had ever gone through... I was unable to ride again. I gave up riding and giving lessons. What was worse is I thought I was giving it up for the right reasons. I had trained with Olympic riders and was at one time in my life able to ride the wildest of horses. Then fear told me that I could not trust myself, that I could not properly assess things and riding horses was just too dangerous.

For the last few weeks I have forced myself on the back of a horse., I am completely out of shape, but I don’t care. I am fearless....I am fearless.....I am fearless.....I am fearless.....I am fearless....I am fearless....I will go where I am suppose to go and I will do what I am suppose to do, I will scale any wall...I will not listen to the voice that screams at me to retreat.

I am FEARLESS! Courage and faith in who I am in Him has risen and the joy of the Lord is my strength!

What I have finally realized is that doing things like riding a horse in the Olympics may not win souls, but it will give you the courage to talk to the very person that God has placed in our lives to win. Riding an untrained horse may not cause us to evangelize, but when people ask us to come to their farm to teach a large group, we can develop public speaking skills. 

We should be doing what we love to do, better than anyone else and people should be knocking down our doors, because of who He is in our lives. When we don’t cross the finish line we not only cripple ourselves, we cripple the very life of God that moves into us and out of us for the sake of reaching the people we were meant to reach, while closing the doors to the ones who are waiting for us to show up.

We must cross our own finish line, so that we can assist others in crossing theirs.This is not an exercise, this is the means to get us where He wants us to be. It is vital and imperative that we are who we are supposed to be.