After seventeen years of chasing after God with every amount of energy I had, quoting scriptures, praying without ceasing and playing praise and worship music around the clock, I was at the point of NO return! Although I felt the presence of God, He was VERY real to me, my life as a whole was being torn apart, I was desperate for justice and rightness!
My husband and I could barely stay in the same room together. My children whom I so desperately wanted to love Jesus the way I did, did not have the connection or passion I did. I don't blame them, they did the best they could with what they were given. I barely seen my two older son’s, one of them was at college and the other visited every other weekend. By choice, he lived with his dad.
My husband and I could barely stay in the same room together. My children whom I so desperately wanted to love Jesus the way I did, did not have the connection or passion I did. I don't blame them, they did the best they could with what they were given. I barely seen my two older son’s, one of them was at college and the other visited every other weekend. By choice, he lived with his dad.
It was a life I never wanted, I was living out a horrible nightmare! It did not matter if I was sleeping or awake, the nightmare was always creeping around the corner. When we get married although for better or worst, we really want the better! When we give birth to children, we kind of think we get to raise them?! I hated my life and what was worse I hated me, who I had become, I did not recognize!
I thought the day I met Jesus in my living room, because of His perfection all my imperfections would immediately disappear! The problems would go and the joy would come in like a flood! Although those things happened to a degree, what I did not anticipate was what happens behind the walls of the church. I thought I would find help, what I found was that the church needed help! The help it needs is bigger than I could offer on my own and in the attempt of being Jesus, that attitude opened up what appeared to be the Pandora's box of conflict! I was desperate for change, life and everything that was right!
To be clear, I loved and prayed for every person and pastor I have ever met in and out of the church! I am still praying for them all! I truly believe they are doing the best they know how with the information that they have! There just needs to be a change, lives are in the balance and my family and I became desperate for change!
This created a bigger conflict in my home. My husband had been raised in a church for most of his childhood and youth, he had already experienced for himself as a child what I was just finding out on my own. Meanwhile when I grew up, I lived a worldly life looking for God my entire life never knowing how to get to him. Once I found him, I thought the rest of the world and my household would be just as excited as I was about the treasure I had found! My zest, zeal and enthusiasm for the door of heaven that had just been opened in my life caused things I was not prepared for. Within 17 years of believing this would change, I came up empty, dry, disillusioned, and dyeing in every area of my life. Instead of getting better, my life became worse. Finding God's will for our life was not a choice at this point it truly was a matter of life or death!! What was worse, hopelessness was causing my desperation to start to die as well.
One day, after almost deciding to never attend a church service again, my husband called me into the living room. He was watching a DayStar program featuring World Revival Church, in Kansas City, MO. As I walked into the room, I caught Pastor Dustin, whom I had never seen before, worshiping with music, I had never heard before? What I seen and heard drew me into the moment, it was like I was watching a distant dream come into view.
Then when Pastor Steve preached, I thought, “ he tells the truth!" For the first time in a long time, I felt hope begin to rise! There is a place, in this country, where people put Jesus and His desires first! After that first program, my husband said,” maybe we should move to Kansas City and go to that church!” I was floored, my husband, who never watched Christian television, was willing to move across the country to go to a church?!!! I started to become desperate to go to Kansas City!
It took us eleven months to get to Kansas City to visit. When we walked through the doors of World Revival church, on a Friday evening in November of 2009, our anticipation was high! We were all desperate for God to show up and prove He was bigger than all the conflict we had faced! I believed God would come down and put our family back together again! Halfway during the worship service Pastor Kathy had the ushers bring us forward so she could pray for us! I knew Jesus had heard my 17 years worth of prayers, He was going to save us!
As I walked up for prayer, what felt like a tidal wave, hit me and I was struggling to stay standing! Then as we got closer to the altar where Pastor Kathy was waiting for us, I felt a rush of heat like that of fire! Tears were streaming down my face as I was struggling to stay standing. I thought, “I don’t know how much longer I can stand under this intense pressure of fire and waves!!!”
She walked up to me and started singing with a beautiful smile on her face, then the Holy Spirit did a surgery like none other. Although I was not able to see, I was crying, I knew when she was walking towards me. The floodgates opened as she got closer to me! I had never felt that much power force coming straight at me, Pastor Kathy was surrounded by it! As I fell to the floor, because of the intense waves and fire, she began to sing prophetically over me! She sang that God would answer all of my prayers and give me the desires of my heart!
Three years later, I can truly say without hesitation, that RESTORATION is coming to my house! We moved to Kansas City, MO. to be part of World Revival Church and for the past three years I have watched my prayers that I prayed hundred’s of times be answered in front of my eyes! It is as though the power and fire of God has consumed all that I am. Now only He and His will remain! Restoration is His will, everything else just needed to get out of the way!
Restoration can come to your home too! My advice would be if your not already, get desperate, go to where the fire and power is and get burned up in Him! What will remain will be something worth dying for, something worth living for, something worth fighting for!
If you would like to connect to a live streaming worship service go to www.worldrevivalchurch.com. We stream live Thursday, Friday and Sunday services. Go to the website to get signed up and look up when we stream! Don’t live anything less that what you were created to one more day! Be who you were supposed to be today!
http://vimeo.com/9379039 Here is a song called Desperate, perfect fit to this blog! It is a song by Fireflight, I chose it because of the lyrics and the passion/desperation acted out!
I will always choose to be desperate for more of Him!!!
Why Revival? I would not have seen restoration without it?
If you like this blog you will like Breaking Down Walls! http://michelleiswon.blogspot.com/search?q=Breaking+Down+Walls check out the power that comes when we Break Down Walls!
Here is blog about better communication :http://michelleiswon.blogspot.com/2013/05/communication-simplified.html
I will always choose to be desperate for more of Him!!!
Why Revival? I would not have seen restoration without it?
If you like this blog you will like Breaking Down Walls! http://michelleiswon.blogspot.com/search?q=Breaking+Down+Walls check out the power that comes when we Break Down Walls!
Here is blog about better communication :http://michelleiswon.blogspot.com/2013/05/communication-simplified.html
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