I want to be vivid. I am broken in heart, and crying in my spirit, as I write these words. I am coming from a very deep and passionate place of praise, to my Lord and savior by which I write.
When I first met the Lord, I was passionate about Him. I ran with the greatest of speed. I devoured the Bible day and night. My goal was to read the word of God, 40 hours per week. I never reached my goal, however, I read my bible, sung praise songs, and prayed daily for so many hours per day, you wouldn’t believe and it’s not really important.
Why am I telling you all this? I can promise you, it is not to say that I did anything right. It is not to say, you should do that too. I am only telling you this to prepare you, for the reason I am writing today. This will be the most humiliating thing I have ever shared with you.
7 years had passed, as I had been chasing after God. My husband, did not share the same habits I had. He had been raised in a church, I had not. Because, he was not running at the same speed, I became disillusioned about our marriage. I wanted to pastor a church, lead worship, pray for the sick, be an evangelist, and go on mission trips. There was no sacrifice too high, to give to this great Lord, Jesus.
I did everything I knew how to do. I prayed that my husband would change. I talked to him about my passion, and asked him to come on board. According to him, he was on board. I never seen him read his bible, pray or worship. I knew, based on the word of God, when we love Him, we obey him. I did not see, an obedient, on fire, can’t wait to please God, husband.
I can honestly say, my attitude about my husband became worse and worse with each day. As, I became more radiant and passionate about Jesus, he remained the same, sometimes worse. I was going to ministry school, and I was part of an international ministry called, ” Cleansing Stream Ministries”. I had gone to one year of bible college, and felt like a failure, because my husband did not share the same passion as I did.
I went to a, Cleansing Stream Retreat. At the retreat, everyone worships, and then receives prayer. We always pray against pride first, before any other category. When it was my turn for prayer, I told the person praying for me, that I needed a lot of prayer for this. Although my heart was pure for God, I knew I struggled with this. They brought 4 people to pray for me. I stood there as 4 people prayed for me, and for a long time I felt no change. They would stop and ask, “do you feel like you are free from this’? I said, “no”!
I wanted to remain free from frustration, so I said, “please keep praying”! Within a few minutes, I saw my husband’s face, Jesus very clearly said to me, ” you are no better than he is”. “Just because you read your bible, pray, and worship, hours each day, does not make you better than your husband.” “You are not better than anyone, because you do those things”. “Spending time in my word, does not make you, “better”, than anyone”.
I fell to the ground and cried. The religious pride had been removed, and I saw myself in full view. Religious pride is an ugly, detestable thing. It harms innocent people, and is counter productive for the work of Christ. So many Christians are full of religious pride, and like me, don’t see it. My heart broke, as I laid there exposed, to a living, loving, restoring God. My heart was not breaking for me, it broke for my husband. I thought, how has he put up with me? I am not that important. I don’t get it, I would have left me, along time ago.
When the session was over, I went to the pay phone, and called my husband, and apologized. I told him how much I loved him, and that I was sorry. He was shocked and happy, yet had no clue why I was saying what I was saying.
What is your story? Are you a Christian? Do you know Christians? Are you a victim of self-righteous Christians? What can we do?
How can we detect, a religious mindset, that aims to destroy the work of Christ?
1. A religious mindset aims to destroy. Is, what you are doing, helping others love Christ and people more, or do you bring forth critical attitudes? Attitudes that justify your behavior and tears down others?
2. A religious mindset believes they have something to offer and it makes them feel good, (prideful), when they offer it. Like, I pray for someone, then have to tell the world of my great praying techniques. Do you have to feel important, and valued around your pears at church? Do you do things in front of others, so they can see what you do? That is religious pride.
3. A religious mindset will stop at nothing, to achieve it’s goal of destruction. If we are using any form of manipulation to achieve our goals, we are way off base. Arguing, fighting, name calling, using scripture as a weapon, and bringing harm to others, to prove we are right, is not advancing the cause of Christ. Do you plot, scheme and meditate on proving a point, for religious reasons? Are you willing to sacrifice people in your life, if they don't agree with you? Do you tear down others, and destroy people's reputation, to prove a point?
Points to remember: When Jesus is involved, restoration happens. When he is not involved, division happens. The whole point of Jesus is to restore…..relationships. If we are harming people with our, “righteousness“, we are not righteous at all. Righteous means, right standing with God. We can’t be standing right with Him, if we are bringing forth division, because we aim to be, “right”. That is called pride and arrogance, not righteousness.
In closing: I pray that the body of Christ will do whatever it takes, to become unimportant, so that the real cause of Christ, will become the most important thing to us. If you are not a Christian, and have been disillusioned by the whole idea, I just want to say on behalf of all the dumb dumb's, like me, “I am sorry if we have ever hurt you, because we were more concerned about being right, than bringing forth a ,”right standing with Christ”. Please forgive me and know that Christ is way cooler, than anyone I have ever met in church, including, but not limited to, myself. I have sincerely learned the importance of insignificance.
I pray that you will desire to be insignificant too. Please leave a comment, question, or praise. I really want to see us all do the work of Christ, and pride has to go, for that to happen. I am not that important.
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